i’m sorry ma’am but i’m going to have to diagnose you with noassatall
you took it, you bitch
when i go to the gym on a normal day
“running fucking sucks when is it over help me”
going to the gym high
“its alright im just running no big deal”
my director yesterday was like ‘alright grab the nearest hottest person and kiss them on the lips’ as a joke so i said ‘haha i can’t kiss myself’ and no one heard except this one guy and so he stole my joke and shouted ‘I CAN’T KISS MYSELF’ really loud and everyone laughed and that’s the first time i killed man… just kidding it wasn’t the first.
